Welcome to the course book 'How to Communicate' in 8 chapters. Write engaging documents and have enjoyable interactions with people in the kitchen, office or on stage.

Good communication can resolve any problem even among the cacophony of today's interactions. Conversations between people are at the root of all problems and also integral to solving them.

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on Mar 06

Complaining is a double edged sword. If you complain it may draw out a fight. If you don’t complain the problem may persist or escalate into boiling resentment – which tend to pop up when least expected.

From Waitrose "How Rude" Modern Manners
Of course if you want a fight – then lodging a complaint is the ideal way to start one especially if you are complaining about someone’s mother or child – or even their driving which is a particularly sore subject, famously dubbed “road rage” Be warned you can get shot for complaining in the USA tinderbox these days. This is because they appear to be unable to differentiate between a complaint and a threat. Worse still they regard a complaint as a palpable damage.

An example is the ‘chemtrail’ of PC that the press remind us about frequently enough just as the report that someone sued another person for calling them fat in a public place. The fact that the person was palpably fat meant nothing. The plaintiff’s “ouch that hurt me” won just enough money to make this one a nice little earner for the courts (treasury) who got lots of cases to ‘try’ and lots of awards for damages to skim. Some for the plaintiff, some for the lawyers on both sides and some for court expenses (treasury). Expensive for the defendant though and the plaintiff better believe the Treasury are slow payers.

So putting war to one side, there is a good reason for a complaint other than getting something off your chest. It is to seek redress – why else?

“I will have satisfaction sire! – I throw my glove before you. Pick up the glove if that is verily the great codpiece that you wear”.

“You cad sir – how durst thy bring coarse references to codpieces to mine ears? There are ladies present. Shall it be dawn Charlie when thine own legs shall shake more that which lies between?”

“Choose your weapon”

“Surely ye can think of a plan whereby I may give satisfaction as ye asked. Would not a brace of deerhounds be sufficient recompense? – for my mis-taken words albeit spoken in ernest I can assure you. Besides this codpiece was a gift from my fair lady over there who finds duels repugnant.

May I bring in your hounds? – their beauty may please you.”

‘Oh all right and actually I think thine codpiece is fair”

What works best is:
Only complain TO the person that CAN correct the problem

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