THE PERFECT 8

Welcome to the course book 'How to Communicate' in 8 chapters. Write engaging documents and have enjoyable interactions with people in the kitchen, office or on stage.

Good communication can resolve any problem even among the cacophony of today's interactions. Conversations between people are at the root of all problems and also integral to solving them.

Please read the foreword first and then we wish you a fun journey in the art of communication.

Ideas on this site are free. What it took to get them to you is given freely also. In future we shall sell books and audio books.

FOREWORD to the Course

HOW TO COMMUNICATE
by Jackie Mackay

This is a course on Communicating. It is written as a book of 8 chapters. I would greatly appreciate it, were you to read this foreword – in other words an introduction to the wisdom inherent in the material. Fundamental to Life is the ability to communicate. I was amazed as a little child when my mummy and daddy told me the birds were talking to each other. They said ‘TALKING’ and this meant the world to me as I was just learning how to talk aloud.

Can communication change the world? 
Yes.   It does. Every waking cell, in every body of cells, says stuff to the others. Every one is unique. It’s called radiation or resonance or radionics or vibrations and it moves the space around it, in a unique way. The resonance can be so slight it’s hardly measurable by conventional means and the cells can be so small they are dubbed particles which can entangle with other particles far far away across space.

So yes, the world is changing around us and round from further away. It is a moving breathing body of groups of cells making up the terrain and moving life over the surface. And it’s all communicating things.

This is a course, based upon a system that is so simple that it takes maybe a half hour to comprehend that it’s about the reader becoming a master of communicating.

Each chapter takes about half an hour to read and practice.

The teacher is yourself and the exercises are written as small plays for you to read to yourself – preferably aloud. After that it is a matter of application – practicing preferably on a daily basis for a little That is until you just find yourself practicing the 8 elements in your real world on the hoof – well out of any formal classroom. 

Imagine perfect crisp warm highly visceral communications behind world deal stuff like the Lisbon Treaty negotiations, beautiful communication woven into documents and clear spoken conference rooms. And in the kitchen.

Small imperceptible changes can effectively permeate the general tone.   It’s already happening in the TED lectures, many of which could be even better.  Critique of selected TED talks are an exercise on this course (available with url links when written).

Imagine the Word both written and spoken, powerful and effective starting to proliferate in all media.  Obviously a prerequisite to achieving perfect is the word being the truth.

Let’s shoot for the stars
Good communication shall enrich the Net.  Great communication changes the world. Great in this context is perfect – it did the job. It put over the point to the audience. That’s truth & love personified. Now Robots can’t do that you see.

The book started to be written after I had worked with the methodology myself and had thus considerably improved my own communication. I created the exercises for a student from Poland who was learning English. I found that that she was relatively free of having a language problem because her English was good.

But there was something else that made this beautiful girl feel uncomfortable – misunderstood. The something elses were certain elements habitually missing from her communication.

She kept repeating herself sometimes insistently, forever ‘just about to do an ending’.  She was trying harder and harder unaware that she was saying things twice and thrice refusing any interruption – at times fiercely. Until she grasped some of the elements in this book. After that her life improved and she got what she had been looking for for quite a while – a good job she enjoyed – and kept.

(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)

The eight elements explore big concepts through examples written as playlets as conversations and exercises.

This a course on a system that is very effective and will be more so if you pursue it through to the concluding chapter. asking questions and making observations.

Course work includes posting comments for public or private feedback on this blog. Anyone on the course can post a video, essay or written speech to be published on this site as a post either as it is or inviting peer review.

Here’s the story of how I came across the 8 points of communication.

(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)


THE ORIGIN OF THE ‘8 POINTS OF COMMUNICATION’

Going back to the beginning, I was taught thIs methodology in a seminar and it is my experience of using it and applying it that has caused me to pass it on to others.  It assists us to observe the merest difference in intonation, emphasis, grammar and so forth in any dialect.

“COMMUNICATION IS SENDING AN IDEA OVER SPACE TO A RECEIVING POINT. THAT IS THE FORM OF COMMUNICATION”. Said the teacher evenly and easily.

When I heard this definition for the first time I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. I was third row back at a seminar, sitting next to an intelligent man.  I knew that, because he had something to say about everything. I glanced at him as he was glancing at the ceiling with a barely perceptible shake of his head. It appeared to me that he disagreed with the speaker. I determined to ask him why in the break. We made out way to the water table.

Too simple”  he said… ”or should I say simplistic?”  But I wasn’t listening –  My eyes were wandering around the room while he was talking to himself, without knowing that I was politely waiting for him to finish his 9th point.  I learned from the introduction of the lecture because I saw straight away that this was more of a monologue than a communication in the first place. I sensed that this was a distinct case of the ‘autopilot’ behaviour we had been talking about just an hour past.

While we drank water he squared his shoulders to mine and looked me in the eye .

You have to understand“ he said “That communication is merely a series of processes of information transmission governed by the srructure of sign language, so communication, being a social interaction, is where one or more interacting agents (the emisors and the destinations) share a common set of signs and semiotic rules which override autocommunication and rely more on intrapersonal diaries or self-talk, though they are normally secondary phenomena following the primary communicative competences that arise from social interactions”.

‘He reminds me of Dickens’ I thought. He could fill half a page of a book with one sentence. I felt it would only be polite to respond.
“What’s an emisor?” I asked. His eyes shot up to the ceiling again.

An emisor is the sender who encodes the message so you could call him the encoder if you like, and he transmits to a destination or destinations who is the receiver or the decoder“. Without a pause he went on

“You see the emisor and the destinations are – and here it can get quite complex –  they are all linked reciprocally”  He paused for a quick deep breath and continued talking  urgently while we found our way back to our chairs. On he went.

What we are doing now is called a ‘speech act’. The emisors personal filters and the destination’s personal filters obviously differ to some extent depending upon discrete regional traditions, cultures, age, peer groups or gender; which may alter the intended meaning of message contents”.

I silently determined to make my escape swiftly from any more speech acts afterwards. Even so, during the talk I had to notice his every point of disagreement being transmitted wordlessly by our emisor in the next chair. He wanted us to know that he had opinions of his own. His communication albeit wordless needed no decoding at all.

The trainer continued with the context  He said

“ THE ESSENCE OF COMMUNICATION IS THE SELF BEING VALIDATED AND AFFIRMED” He paused and looked around the room at the bemused faces – including mine.  He went on to explain

“That’s how you KNOW if the communication has worked. This is how to TELL if it’s worked. This means that when a sound communication happens between you and someone else, it validates and affirms both of you together – you can feel it – in fact you can tell.”

My neighbor’s hand shot up.

“ Well supposing the person is putting over a disagreeable idea – how can you feel validated and affirmed?…. which is an agreeable feeling is it not?”.  The trainer said,

“What a good point – a nice feeling and a bad message don’t logically go together do they?  Consider this example. You may at some time have clearly said something that didn’t make sense to the other person.  Now you know that all the things you said were perfectly correct , individually validated  by scholarly works that you personally read from a source you trusted. – Tell me John has this ever happened to you?”  John nodded enthusiastically so the trainer continued,

“So,  knowing you are right – yet they are confused, the communication has missed it’s mark wouldn’t you say?”

“Of course it has” said John  “It feels very uncomfortable when that happens you see.”

“Then do you believe that the feeling of discomfort was because the thing you were getting across contained unwelcome news?”
John answered

“If your statement is correct it should not matter if the news was good bad or indifferent – we should all be feeling validated and affirmed.  After all nobody likes being opposed or criticised and however well you do it you can’t get through the cultural conditioning – or can you?” The trainer waited and said nothing for a second or two.

“Are you asking me a question John?  I heard the point about how you should be feeling, I heard the point about being opposed or criticised (two very different things in themselves).  I heard the point about cultural conditioning.  So what would you like me to answer?”

John was silent for just long enough for the trainer to add –

“John you have illustrated the first thing we are going to cover this evening about communication.  Excuse me if we all move straight on to it” John sat down with a small smile beginning to form on his face. I was delighted – remembering my conversation with John, I felt like an insider and validated AND affirmed.

This converstion with an intelligent man showed me then and there that something else was present – unspoken. He was passionate about communication to the extent that he had learned all the bits and wanted to express them – what was he trying to say though?

I thought about our intelligent man in the seminar as another teacher of the principles being discussed. And by the end of the seminar I understood that so is everyone you listen to.

(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)*

Doing What Comes Naturally
Like anything we do naturally –  walking, loving  and breathing – as soon as analysts get busy the excess of words belie the meaning.  Analysis usually leads to paralysis, it really does – on the other hand understanding helps.

It was not easy putting the method into practice in my life – maybe the original authors were ahead of their time or maybe I should have re-read all the wisdom books i had read – aloud.  However, my fascination with communication, information and meaning led me to observe that the majority of communications miss the mark – even in writing – especially most of the press stories published these darkening days.

I have seen how one ‘missed mark’ can breed others..  I have seen how reckless rambling, monologues, and even unkind quips cloaked as humour can pollute the atmosphere leaving little meaning behind in a turbulent wake of a whole lot of disturbance and froth.

HABITS
It is hard to form new habits (see footnote*).  Have those who slouch, ever tried to mantain a perfect posture for longer than a few minutes?  Difficult isn’t it? The Victorians strapped on shoulder braces. They seldom worked either as the relief of removing them was often overwhelming.

The practice needed, as with a musical instrument, to override habits – is in direct proportion to the need or desire to….. in this case … communicate.

I will be publishing this course free of charge as a PDF and as an audio book at a later stage. Meanwhile this site aims to clear up some misconceptions about what communication is and how improving it can make a profund difference to anyone’s life.

As a multitude of diffrent races and cultures are mingling and working together the time is ripe to perfect the art of communication. It is easy if you want to.
We aim to bring communication up to date and to offer insights as to what goes wrong and how to get it right.

* FOOTNOTE

I once lived in the country. About a mile or so away was the village shop up a gentle incline and then up a hill.

I took the bike and was a third of the way when I was overtaken by my neighbour Mrs Man. She was old and bent and looked even frail. She glided easily past me with a cheerful wave.

I watched as she continued up the steep bit I walked up, without slowing down.  I asked her the next morning over our cup of tea at eleven.

‘Please tell Mrs Man how do you do it?’  She answered

“I’ve done it all my life – tell me how many times have you cycled up that hill? ”

“Three or four times” she nodded sagely

“Do it every day for a few months and we can ride up side by side”  She smiled – more tea dear?”