THE PERFECT 8

Welcome to the course book 'How to Communicate' in 8 chapters. Write engaging documents and have enjoyable interactions with people in the kitchen, office or on stage.

Good communication can resolve any problem even among the cacophony of today's interactions. Conversations between people are at the root of all problems and also integral to solving them.

Please read the foreword first and then we wish you a fun journey in the art of communication.

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7. Acknowledgment

The seventh element
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
A HARD BELIEF TO CRACK
COPY THAT
RECOGNITION – A PERVADING NEED
ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WANT TO READ A BOOK
PRACTICAL METHODOLOGY
TELEPATHY

This, the seventh point of communication, is one that everybody is most aware of and uses all the time.

I shall put down the Roget’s collection under the header word of ASSENT with due acknowledgement to the project Gutenberg who make this great work available to simply cut and paste. The people behind this Web site are keeping our language alive and adding old books and new authors who wish to give their ideas to the people on the Web more readily.

Assent. – (Noun). assent, assentment[obs3]; acquiescence, admission; nod; accord,
concord, concordance; agreement &c.
# 23 Agreement (pg 14); a?rmance, a?rmation;
recognition, acknowledgment, avowal; confession of faith.
unanimity, common consent, consensus, acclamation, chorus, vox populi; popular belief,
current belief, current opinion; public opinion; concurrence &c. (of causes)
# 178 Con-
currence (pg 86); cooperation &c. (voluntary)
# 709 Cooperation (pg 370).
ratification, confirmation, corroboration, approval, acceptance, visa; indorsement &c.
(record)
# 551 Record (pg 275)[obs3].
consent &c. (compliance)
# 762 Consent (pg 404).

Assent (verb) ; give assent, yield assent, nod assent; acquiesce; agree &c.
# 23 Agreement
(pg 14); receive, accept, accede, accord, concur, lend oneself to, consent, coincide, reciprocate, go with; be at one with &c. adj.; go along with, chime in with, strike in with, close in with; echo, enter into one’s views, agree in opinion; vote, give one’s voice for; recognize; subscribe to, conform to, defer to; say yes to, say ditto, amen to, say aye to. acknowledge, own, admit, allow, avow, confess; concede &c. (yield)
# 762 Consent
(pg 404); come round to; abide by; permit &c. # 760 Permission (pg 403).

Including the adjectives and adverbs, the list of words reaches 44 lines.  Interestingly, the opposite column – ‘Dissent’ only has 24 lines of words with that sort of meaning.  It’s a doleful list indeed. It sounds to me like the ramblings of a person who’s bi-polar when he’s really down at the Antartctic.

Acknowledging a person properly requires humility.  Humble is quite something else – a bit like Uriah Heep of Dickens’ fame. Humility is a state where pride is in perfect balance between the feisty pride and the jealous pride. It’s at 0. Humility is very calm.

Sometimes acknowledgement feels almost sickening. In the first place the person you are acknowledging needs to agree that she is deserving of it.  Should they have got out of the wrong side of the bed that morning chances are that they are down on themselves and will feel like a liar if they agree with you. Perhaps they feel undeserving for some other reason – why is immaterial to you – the acknowledgement has to be fitting, truthful and factual for them to feel it means something.to them.

Give a pretty girl a compliment and she may feel you are resorting to flattery. In fact acknowledging people is an art of stepping elegantly through a minefield of sensitivities.

conversation
(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)

Jason and the dude (Joel) meet and have a beer
Jason – “Hey dude – you’re looking cool man. Where did you get that suntan?” (Joel the Dude had just stepped out of a tanning shop).
Joel – (he answered quietly) “Jason – Hi. I could do with a beer – wanna join me?” the dude said adjusting his sunglasses.

Jason – (persisting) “Cool shades too – man you look the business -Sure I’m up for a beer”
Joel – “uh huh”
(The dude didn’t feel so good.  He was hot, thirsty and  a bit burnt. he had gone to sleep and woken up overcooked. He knew he looked red, felt ridiculous. He disappeared into the dark cool bar and grabbed a bar stool. Jason joined him and ordered.

Jason -Two Stellas in long glasses with ice – that OK for you?” ( Jason.put ten dollars on the bar).
Joel – “uh-huh” (he asked the barman for water). After drinking the whole glass down he sighed and looked at Jason.
Joel – “You are looking pretty good yourself – what’s up you dating Jen?”

Jason – “Yes indeedy I am – meeting up tonight as it happens. She’s crazy about dancing – ever done that?”
Joel – (He downed some beer and started to feel human again. This jacket could be an attractor factor after all – He felt a total bozo in it ten minutes after he left the apartment – and not the dude at all – as he hurried to the tanners out of town. “So you like the jacket?” he asked Jason cheerfully

Jason – “sure man it’s from Uniclo isn’t it? I was thinking of getting one of them but I don’t pull white off so good. I just love that shop. So clear  – the clothes fit”
Joel – “Like the clothes HATE the music if you can call it music – feel sorry for the guys in there they get the earache all day long – Hey man – why not Sal and me join you?. She has cool friends.”  Joel put a ten dollar bill on the counter and raised his eyebrows in the direction of the barman.

Jason – “great idea” he said getting out his iPhone.
Joel – “beer?”

Jason – It’s at ‘Greenline’
Joel – “Hi Jen -joel and Sal are coming to Greenline tonight – Cool or what?’

(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)

Exercise
Re-read the conversation and count the actual and the missed acknowledgements.

A HARD BELIEF TO CRACK
Talking about being validated and affirmed, the seventh point is what we all think we want – if only we could stop thinking about it. It’s the one we all developed hang-ups about when we were baby children. Crucial to survival is acknowledgment. It’s on the mind of everyone all the time. Without it we can go a little crazy or give up in a gloop of apathy. It gets so bad over a period (lasting throughout childhood) and we can’t seem to get enough of it. Parents who plaster their children with acknowledgment will have the hardest time with this element. Why?

Because as soon as the response becomes a habit children notice straight away and feel patronised or even tricked. Even in simple things like the auto-please and the auto-thanks are an imposition that young children resist for this reason. It’s easy to endorse one’s own belief that we are being forced to do something we don’t want to do. It is a belief that is formed before we can even imagine. Even compliant and willing children tend to build up guards against being controlled.

As an anology (we are not horses) With horses they can be tamed to accept a rider by being ‘broken’. it is a rough and cruel process and there is actually no need for it. A horse, like an elephant (you don’t overtly ‘break an elephant!) can be willing to take a rider through a good relationship with it’s owner. It is only just being re-discovered by humans that communicating to the animals (horse or dog whispering) is far more effective than whips, spurs and fierce bits in their tender mouths.

When used in battle war horses and war elephants were spurred (literally) to violence through horrific stimulus. Real riders like Red Indians resorted to no such thing. Their horse was like a part of them from which they could take a steady aim. In Roman style battles the animals were induced to be aggressive themselves – often with drugs and drink as well as vile harnesses. Of course (we think) we don’t do that anymore. However we still comply with our tradition and break our horses and use bits and snaffles and reins to restrict their breathing. Habit is the greatest enemy of human growth.

Do we ‘break’ our children? Of course we do because we ourselves were broken in the tradition of Roman education wether from the church or the academics. Lack of acknowledgment is one of the greatest weapons against the natural development of the incredible human spirit. It was (and still is) a deliberate and purposeful attempt to break the spirit of a child. The saying made famous under Queen Victoria was “children must be seen and not heard“.

Naturally this was recognised over a century ago. This is an axiom very well known to us all through our own personal experience and has been referred to frequently throughout history. Child rearing included “acknowledging your child” but they failed to mention that it needed to be real rather than a method of control so – whoops it missed the mark.

We ALL still have considerable hang-ups relating to acknowledgment. How many of you men “yes-dear” your wives over the top of your newspaper? How many of your women utterly diss (dismiss) the efforts of your man to look after you thinking ‘he must be after something’.

While the Jesuits may rub their hands in glee thinking how right their boasts were, they miss the point by a galaxy. However this book does not address the reasons behind (and for) the problems we have with communicating to each other. We can sort it ALL out by learning HOW and leaving the WHY’s in the last millennia where they belong.

COPY THAT
The military tradition is to respond appropriate to any communication in a timely way because they are operating on a pivot of life and death…. or losing a war. It has been observed by journalists and photographers accompaying American soldiers on patrol in [say] Vietnam that they were undisciplined with smoking and inconsequential chatter which may have been more contributory to their losing the war than admitted. Films of their current campaigns show us that they are, if anything, worse. From this we can conclude that humans will risk their lives and the lives of their brothers to be acknowledged truly. While the savvy enemy can smell them from afar they feel ‘invisible’ in their TV culture. Although an increasing number of people talk to their telly, The TV never answers

Because of our suspicion as babies that acknowledgment is a control mechanism – even when it is NOT we can be forgiven for thinking it is. In this mind set, when we do get it we feel there’s something wrong and even dangerous about acknowledegement. It’s a hard belief to crack.

RECOGNITION – A PERVADING NEED
Since lack of acknowledgment is also lack of recognition everybody wants to be on the TV or have their ‘Day in Court’ (Judge Judy really hit the spot and may still be the most popular programme on TV) There are billions of lonelies imagining themselves recognised for once as they get on to ‘COPS’ to be cuffed, kicked and insulted and RECOGNISED maybe at last.

The need is so strong that it can drive people to addiction (well everybody’s doing that in some way) or ill while they imagine themselves on a hospital trolley being wheeled by several concerned and very good looking nurses to an emergency ward.

The stage and movies are crowded with extras and swing gangs who will sweep up free hoping to be noticed. It’s not the money people want – they want to be recognised as part of something.

The negative consequences provide much work for trainers and therapists. There’s test fear, there’s writers block, there’s stage fright, fighting for position in the subterranean depths of your mind. You carry on through the dull thunder of blacknoise as your mind admonishes you from the deep.

ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WANT TO READ A BOOK
Books and courses may offer some temporary comfort. Let me tell you straight away that just reading this book will not work. Krishnamurti knew this which is why he disbanded his followers from the outset of his life of touring with news of the Truth about Love. Reading his books (mainly transcripts from his talks) does not work either although practicing the mindset does work rather locally. The only thing that will work is to quit today’s education and programming (by the already programmed) that we do today en masse. Otherwise the Jesuits (they are not the only ones poor things) can continue to rub their hands allowing whatever information to be cast like so many seeds into deep space.

PRACTICAL METHODOLOGY
There are some things we can do about it. We can wait for the programmed to die off (they say that science progresses from tombstone to tombstone) or wait for spontaneous transcendence – a popular belief among the most enlightened ones – or better still spontaneous evolution (Bruce Lipton) which is a state where genes change instantly on being faced with general extinction. I like this one very much. It was observed many times in petri dishes in top science labs that cells, taken from people radically averse to lactose, would adapt to eating lactose if there was NO OTHER FOOD. The excitement rose when they found that this was due to spontaneous genetic re-structuring (what they used to call mutation) which until this decade was considered quite outrageously impossible.

As Bruce pointed out in the face of much huffing and puffing in medical circles, they had been teaching a DOGMA for decades that had been based on no scientific proof whatsoever. We are right in the eye of the storm and need to hang on and we shall see the outcome for ourselves in our lifetime.

Meantime I, ever impatient for results, recommend the Lefkoe Institute where Morty and his wife work to administer his own method to eliminate damaging beliefs in a matter of twenty minutes with no fuss.

I bought their programme and sent through it strictly as per the instructions which certainly silenced the blacknoise (as I call it now). I had a lot of major beliefs that had seized my energy. As I progressed through life they talked to me all the time pointing out the risks and every negative aspect of practically everything. I was amazed at the instant quietude of my mind when I had nearly finished the course (I had left the last belief and the four conditionings for late). I finally got down to finishing it off. I have difficulty explaining how I changed because I was already changed before I noticed it.

There are more beliefs which I can now spot. We used to call them hang-ups and early last century they used to call them habits. The churches tended to call them sins and tired old philosophers dismissed them as ‘human nature’ They are in fact lack of human nature as Krishnamurti mentioned in many a lecture in one way or another.

In a purely practical way there are visionaries who have been front-runners in pointing out the serious errors in law and finance to the parasitic elements in politics and money. it is unfortunate that the parasites have wrought so much damage and yet that same damage has threatened the very existence of life on the planet Earth.

This threat could be the catalyst for change but we are not to sit back and count on it. Each and every one of us is accountable to the outcome.

It’s ‘Blind spot’ material really. I feel very lucky to have been born and survive long enough to be able to finally understand. Lefkoe is the progenitor – along with Lipton that will start the movement of personal responsibility just in time. Many others have ‘tried and failed’ however their trials – even the martyrs heroes and saints among them – have also made an enormous difference.

For my part I just get around to things quicker and feel smarter in some way. I see myself differently. Other people are starting to notice just as I cease to mind if they do or not.

Apologies for what seems like a diversion. Without the seventh element – as vital as any other – in communication the point is missed every time. Everything may be perfectly said and still go awry. I had a real problem with this thank you stuff from an early age. It felt undignified. – after all it’s  natural to give and receive and avoid making all this fuss about it.

Manners do work though. I found I learned to contain my diffidence when complimented but something was causing dissonance. When I started this belief banishment course the embarrassment melted away with the beliefs that I said goodbye to – ‘including I’m not good enough’.

I acknowledge people all the time so as they hardly notice. Both of us feels good for a moment, we take note and move along.

Acknowledgement is the dude among the 8 components of perfect communication.

Everybody know this – that’s why it’s common knowledge.

TELEPATHY
When we send telepathically, acknowledgement comes in a form we cannot yet recognise traditionally.  Then the phone rings and it’s ‘them’.  Ever had that happen?  I believe so. 

The discoveries are amazing in the realms of the spirit. They are talking about ‘the grid’ of energies and life forces The scientists today that are involved in what is known as the frontier of science are less arrogant and righteous already as they can see that they will receive very little acknowledgment for their work if they observe the beaten path with their binoculars only from their moneyed ivory towers.