THE PERFECT 8

Welcome to the course book 'How to Communicate' in 8 chapters. Write engaging documents and have enjoyable interactions with people in the kitchen, office or on stage.

Good communication can resolve any problem even among the cacophony of today's interactions. Conversations between people are at the root of all problems and also integral to solving them.

Please read the foreword first and then we wish you a fun journey in the art of communication.

Ideas on this site are free. What it took to get them to you is given freely also. In future we shall sell books and audio books.

8. Space

SPACE
HOW SPACING WORKS
SPACE BY EMPHASIS
THE PART OF UNIQUE CREATURES WITHIN SPACE
SENSES IN SPACE
SPACE IN PRAYER

CONCLUSION
COMMUNICATION WITHOUT WORDS
COMMUNICATING FOR A BAD REASON

The form of communication is sending a message through space to a receiving point in an apparent instant of time. The space itself is a part of the message. Are we in the same space as the others? This book does not refer to the math and subsequent physics or metaphysical arguments relating to space time continuum. That is, in this context, a distraction from the truth about the HUMAN element that is fundamental to this book.

Space is around, between us, inside us. It is the space between the atoms of which the molecules inside us are comprised. Is the space clear, empty? – or is it jangling with a cacophony of distracting elements ? Ask a quantum physicist and they will end up telling you that it is both of these things and all the differences between those two extremes exists – or not. However in the real (corporeal) world we have all experienced that the space itself is capable of disturbing the balance of a communication.

Ask an IT support engineer and they will confirm that many of their calls to aid the recovery of a connection are fixed – just by being on the phone with the person in distress. Support people spend most of their time ‘talking customers down’ from cacophony to peace.

HOW SPACING WORKS
Music would be nigh impossible to read without bars. The bars are the vertical strokes within the notation from the top of the treble (the upper set of lines) to the bottom of the bass (the lower set of lines) – traditionally the black dots.

Bars show you how many notes to play within a space or timeframe in this case. They indicate the rhythm, structure the flow of notes.  They are the main instruction for the readers of the music like the commas and full stops in a sentence of English. I am using this as an analogy. With the spoken word I suspect that every reader will know what it’s like to be unable to get a word in edgeways when talking to a motormouth who just never stops with his “because” and “unless” and ‘if” words creating an endless cascade. The written version of this looks like a densely packed page of words with about 20-30 words in each line and not a space to be seen.

You may have noticed that I divide the conversations in the excercises, between two people, into pairs so you can easily see who is talking to who. This helps to show the a discourse between two. (Also the lines and speechmarks help track who’s talking).  In plays they write the name first and then what they say. When there is a large cast this clarifies the process and makes it easier to commit to memory. However in novels it can be tough working out who has said what to whom when the tradition of isolating lines of speech is ignored or ‘free range’ as in many books on the market – especially in the sci-fi category. Of course you can pick it up – it just makes it more difficult if you have already learnt academically traditional rules.

Space, in the same way, between the paragraphs helps a reader speed read and that saves time. You should be able to skim this book fairly easily though it contains profound material. Speed reading and photo reading are growing in popularity and good layout assists in this.

(a) The importance of a particular word indicates the meaning of the sentence. (the word ‘importance’ is introduced first) as the subject. ‘important’ takes priority over the word ‘meaning

Turned around, it looks like this –

(b) The meaning , In a sentence, is indicated in a particular important word’   (The word ‘meaning‘ is introduced first so that is the most main emphasis to the writer.)

When you are saying these sentences to someone you can transmit the meaning you intend,  by placing the important word anywhere you like.

How you do this is to  emphasise the important word within what you are saying, by literally fortifying that word. in your tone and volume. If you emphasise the word ‘sentence’ in (a)  or (b) it places the meaning on that word.

What has this to do with space?

SPACE BY EMPHASIS

The word that is emphasised is fortified when there is space before and after the sentence. If someone puts several fortifiers into one sentence (If that sounds rather technical it helps to remember it is actually English)  it can divide the attention of the person you are talking to, leading to confusion.

When there are too many things to take on all at once, like too many fortifiers in one sentence, your point can be lost in a jangle of confusion because there is an absence of space around the point.

The same effect happens if you crowd the main noun with too many adjectives. such as:

“Her big brown faraway eyes, gazing unblinking across the hazy distant horizon, filled with tears when she looked at him directly in the eye”

Exercise
The above sentence is easier to interpret in the spoken word. Read it aloud several times,  placing the emphasis on a different word each time you read it by fortifying the different words (eg – eyes and eye or the words gazing and tears).

You can begin to see that space can be created within in a sentence simply by avoiding overcrowding.

In a perfect communication – the fewer adjectives the better. This is because each adjective comes with its own baggage and could very easily introduce a ‘hidden’ agenda or an outright contention to the point itself. Politicians and journalists are particularly sloppy in their use of adjectives and adverbs. When you read text written over a century ago the discipline was much tighter and the sense much clearer.

In romantic writing or in entertaining novels authors do, often to good effect, use adjectives liberally for self expression. With the advent of what is referred to a ‘globalisation’ and the Net self expression through the use of excess adjectives has crept into language that is intended to convey the simple truth.

For those who want to explore the different ways to fortify or emphasise a word try listening to some audiobooks. [There is a site, at time of writing, called www.audiobooksforfree.com where you can try before you buy].

Exercise

“That coat is amazing it absolutely suits you – it’s so you.”
That’s three fortifiers right there in one sentence stating in the first instance about the COAT and then about SUITING – then about YOU.

Read this sentence aloud fortifying each word in rotation.
Strengthening a word places the empasis on that word and its meaning.  It requires stamina to go through all 11 words emphasising each word in turn… Especially if there’s someone present. Each statement you are making, by taking one word to the fore, could be the meaning you wish to convey. As you read them out there will be one which rings true for you more than any other. Then you can see that the emphasis you place on a particular word (and the emphasis upon the syllable within the word covered in ‘UNDERSTANDING’) can make all the difference to conveying exactly what you want to say. Thinking about it that way makes this important exercise easier to do.

THE PART OF UNIQUE CREATURES WITHIN SPACE

“To think truth regardless of appearances is laborious
and requires the expenditure of more power than any other work man  is called upon to perform”
.

“Every man has the natural and inherent power to think what he wants to think, but it requires far more effort to do so than it does to think the thoughts which are suggested by appearances.
To think according to appearance is easy”.

“There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe”.
(Wallace Wattles)

I was always brought up to think space was a cold vacuum full of nothing at all in between the heavenly bodies. Then I heard about solar sailing and – wow – there’s wind in a vacuum. How can that be?

Nowadays it is becoming common knowledge that space is a bustling highway of bits. Vibrations are more than imagination now – we can measure them. Thoughts have a resonance – vibrations which travel through space. Scientists have known about this since the days of Jagadis Chandra Bose who built instruments of measurement including the crescograph which have measured miniscule vibrations. ‘science’ namely the Royal Society of the day, forever under the jealous and zealous watch of the Romans, suppressed these breathtaking discoveries because their parasitic agenda was threatened by the very wisdom and knowledge that they did not themselves possess.

Nonetheless the advances urgently required for their war machine has allowed measuring instruments, approaching the advancement of Bose’s genius, to ‘prove’ that thoughts and their vibrations travel across space to points willing to receive them.

Now in this decade, almost suddenly space is filled with energy. Entangled energy and life or molecules entangled in that. Treat this as a metaphor – The scientists will make better ones as soon as they dare stray from the well trod Roman road.

The dramatisation the film ‘What Women Want’ with Mel Gibson showed the main character hearing the thoughts (in many cases expletives), of other people aloud as they passed by. Hearing what other people think – as in telepathy would seem to be a powerful gift in science fiction only.
It is fact a skill all humans possess should we apply the immense discipline of cleaning our modern minds enough to receive the ancient beauties and powers once more. The Yogis and highest of the holy men exhibit these attributes of humanity in India even today.

As with telepaths in science fiction epics, the ability to hear what others think is invariably portrayed as an undesireable overhead. In ‘Babylon 5’ they were seen as the enemy of the government who pursued them to drug them. In the film he with the gift was relieved when it stopped. Yet if we were to hear all the sounds in our space would it need to confuse and frighten us?. We only see and hear what we program ourselves to see and hear. Underlying all of this – at some level we do not generally understand EVERYBODY KNOWS .

Sitting in the kitchen late at night, when all appears to be absolutely quiet, it is also a relief when the fridge switches off.
Then its quieter still.

SENSES IN SPACE

It has long been known that human beings have undefined perceptions  beyond the normal five senses (sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing).  ‘Orthodox Science’  strongly resists abandoning materialism, yet a tangible wave, of questioning received wisdom,  passed to a wider public when Einstein delivered his papers on Special Relativity and The Photovoltaic Effect in 1905 .

There is an emergence of a new worldview as more and more are starting to realise that the focus of authority is changing from external to ‘inner knowing’

Lyall Watson, writing about Jacobsen’s organ, showed us that it is a physical way in which animals sense things in an apparently ‘extrasensory’ manner.  Dogs can tell when their masters are due to arrive. Horse and man silently discourse as they ride along – especially in rough terrain.

Since the sense works over considerable distances it is likely, having heard Bruce Lipton that we may conclude that the ‘sense’ which has it’s own unique vibration carries a physical chemical aiding the physical aspect of the process.

It can be nothing other than energy that is measured in radionics. The enforced limitations of our perceptions caused us to deny that there were any energies at all other than certain electrical responses in our bodies.  what is electricity? It is now acceded to that plants respond – even measurably react – to an act of violence in their environs. What Bose showed was that all matter – such as metal and stones do so also.

A photograph carries messages beyond what you merely see through some sort of vibration.

Since Jacobsens Organ is found in the nasal region of most vertebrates, connected with the amyldala – an area of the brain, it relays information, possibly collaborating with the nose, about the surroundings in a way that can be conveniently compared to any other sense.

Everybody senses – if only subconsciously – what another person is thinking and there has been evidence – unfounded in ‘science’ – that it has been picked it up across space. Although at close quarters the extra sense (rather than extrasensory) appears to give dogs, for example, their sixth sense. Animals in the deep of the sea also develop more physical senses to help them locate mates and food.

The senses we are talking about here,  appear to respond to detect trace quantities of chemicals. Why are we talking about this as part of a acommunication course?

Chemical detection has a profound impact upon emotional triggers. I only cite it here to show that thoughts can emit a chemical (people can smell fear) and that you can pick it up and interpret it at a subterranean level, firing off and further stimulating a mixture of emotions to go with it.

Perfumes including the smell of grasses are a case in point.

Maybe a thought can stimulate the manufacture of such a chemical in others too. Very likely.  I like to use the analogy that these rare trace chemicals travel like the jet stream on the waves of their vibration in no time across our perceived space/time.

Michael Coleman Talbot  talks about holograms in his book ‘The Hographic Universe’  a book that changes the way we see the universe. He and many other scientist giants such as David Bohm, a former protege of Einstein’s and neurophysiologist Karl Pribram, both of whom independently arrived at holographic theories or models of the universe, are further examining this model now.

“I consider that the universe itself may be a giant hologram, quite literally a kind of image or construct created, at least in part, by the human mind”.

Larry Dossey, M.D., author of ‘Space, Time & Medicine’,  explains that this new way of looking at the universe explains not only many of the unsolved puzzles of physics, but also such mysterious occurrences as telepathy, out-of-body and near-death experiences, lucid dreaming, and even religious and hitherto unexplained experiences such as feelings of cosmic unity and spontaneous healing.

Dossey talks of the progression from what he terms era 1 -‘mechanical medicine’ through to the time in the ‘80s when
pychosymatic medicine allowed that the mind had an effect.on the body. That was era II He now fully embraces and promulgates era lll – the holistic medical philosophy approach that includes ‘nonloccality’. The entanglement of non local energies emerged in quantum physics.

Dossey has often talked of the power of prayer upon ourselves and also on other entities as does Bruce Lipton.

Prayer comes into the category of sending and idea across space to a receiving point, in other words non local.  In an  interview with Daniel Redwood, dossey said

Era III is nonlocal medicine“, with ‘nonlocal’ meaning that minds are not confined to points in space (such as brains or bodies), or time (such as the present moment.) At the Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research Laboratory studies have been conducted for a decade by the ex-Dean of Engineering Dr. Robert Jahn and his colleague Brenda Dunne. There were many experiements, but the ones that shows this nonlocality of the mind are their remote-sensing experiments.

They had one person in Princeton attempting to send a computer-selected image mentally to a person 6000 miles away. Frequently, the receiver not only got the message in great detail, but received it in many instances up to three days before it was even sent! This is mind operating outside of space and time. Minds seemingly thus united, are not totally confined to brains. “This means it’s broken through spatial locality, and it’s also broken temporal locality with this inversion of the future and the present”.

SPACE IN PRAYER

On the subject of prayer it is wise to keep an open mind.  Methodology has been rife in this area since different religions say it should be done in one way only or in another way only. Even now there are prayer groups that pray in a general way, holding the subject in their heart they say “thy will be done”  “ let it be” and variations. To them it is unproductive to lay it all on the line thus ‘instructing god what to do”

Other factions such as the offsprings of Wallace Wattles who was an inspiration for ‘The Secret’,  say that you must declare specifically in your prayer – precisely what you want and by when. You are advised to visualise it.

This was done to bypass the Roman programmes inculcated for many centuries to make almost any freedom of the mind or spirit a sin (unless you were a pope or other type of recognised master of the bewildered herd).

Others couch their prayer in gratitude and giving thanks for what you already have in your own space and experience. This has power to keep the mind from wandering off into its personal little cinema.

CONCLUSION
What follows is not about space – it gives space. There are still some ideas about communication that do not neccessarily fall into any particular category – and affect all the elements.

In practice, to communicate at the same time as trying to remember the 8 elements, would be like  trying to remember the ‘right thing to do’ as a good skiier, as you hurtle downhill on your very first attempt at trying a slope from the top. I know – I have tried.

When I first heard the premise of the 8 points (see foreword),  I took it home and wrote it up on a large sheet and put it on the wall.  My youngest, then 10, took up the idea eagerly. He was spot on and took it on quickly.  For a while his utterances were perfect – finding subtle ways to demand attention and preventing anyone from interrupting him so there was space.

He pointed out whenever his older brother and even his father got it wrong. He had a field day of being seen as right. However it felt most annoying for the rest of us who were not as adept as he. When he saw that being popular was preferable to being right he moved back into the peer group lingo where to be obscured from the prying eyes of adults was the chief order of the day. much the same happened at work where I was viewed as a righteous old nut with a soapbox at the ready (under my desk).

Nonetheless I incorporated the principles into my way of thinking through reports and letters.

I came to realise that a lot of what i said was little understood. I already had a deep seated belief, developed as a child like most other children “People never listen to me”. so it took a while to reach this conclusion with some funny and some disasterous results.

I attribute a clearer understanding, of exactly why my communication missed the mark, to ridding myself of that belief which came a number of years after my first amazed comprehension of the principles. (thanks to the Lefkoe method).

I then grasped  the fact that far from simply being bypassed because other people were more intelligent than I, or higher up the ladder, I had been misunderstood – blanked due to my not understanding they didn’t understand.

Conversation

(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)

Pat attemting to explain something to Claudette – many years her
junior- and her boss’s boss. There had been a query relating to pricing some copyrighted material for Claudette’s client as a sale of a report. 

Claudette – “Pat see if you can come up with a cost justification for the client. Not too expensive their budget’s already whacked out. They insist on having the copyright sorted out”.
Pat – “It doesn’t matter” the information is totally free anyway – it’s not even copyrighted material – we just went and found it all out.”

Claudette – “listen Pat it’s got to be our copyright or we can’t sell it. Find out how we can copyright it OK?”
Pat – “You don’t understand the principle of copyright do you?”

Claudette – “No – that’s why I want YOU to jolly well find it out and I don’t need a 10 page treatise either”
Pat -“Fine”
– – – – – – – –
(A few days later at a company training, run by Claudette on presentation. Each trainee had six minutes to put one idea across convincingly).

Pat – “My idea is “To know what to charge for the value as opposed to the price of researched material for sale”
Claudette – “Well that’s going to be tough to get over in six minutes – and it looks pretty complex but go ahead – three, two one…”

Pat – “How do you know what to charge the client for a report that took seven people six weeks research on the phone, using a method dreamed up by our top statician, presented in elegant graphs, about a niche market issue?” She paused looked around “Anyone?”
Claudette – “They don’t know Pat – it’s your call”

Pat – “Just supposing the information itself is free. This free info took a lot of time and money getting it all together. All you need to do is add up what it cost in man hours and presentation to the client etc and then divide it by how many you reckon the client can sell as a unit price. You can work out the profit at 100%.

“Why 100%? because that’s the sort of profit you need to make both ends meet. Personally I’m working on 200% on my current project because that’s more fun to get out of bed for”. (laughter). “on the other hand you can’t make the value out as too high or the client won’t buy it.

“Now you have told them the cost. The value to them is exponential if they publish the results. Once you know the value of the free idea you are selling it’s a lot easier to sell it.

” All you have to do now is to put a copyright mark on it. It is our copyright which we licence to them. They have the use and we have the ownership which leaves them room to negotiate by agreement. That’s it.
Claudette – “You have 3 minutes left”

Pat – “These are the simple sums I am putting on the flipchart any questions?”
Joe – “ So the information isn’t free is it then?”

Pat – “Joe the IDEA costs nothing in itself – the 340 people people we gthered it from provided that for free. That’s why the information is free. I agree the information has tremendous value as collected, analysed and presented. My idea is how to work out what to charge.”
Joe – “Fair enough”

Hilary -“How do you protect it from being copied and sold on?”
Pat – “That’s with common law copyright, you have to keep that as a separate issue. That will cost you a very long piece of string if you use conventional lawyers but ask Philip – he’s a common law expert and he’ll tell you the rules over a lunch at Rules. In fact people are pretty law-abiding in business”

Claudette – “Time’s up. You got your idea over in the required time.  I can see what you are getting at”
Pat – “Without a ten page thesis”

(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)

Exercise
How did Pat get the point across to Claudette without opposing or patronising her?  How did Pat get her undivided attention?

COMMUNICATION WITHOUT WORDS
Mistakes and how to avoid them

Children are born with the ability to read people. They have had to, being little and extremely vulnerable to the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune“. We absorb mannerisms and expressions from others, especially parents.  Many of them are taken on without  anyone noticing.

There is no such thing as bad communication only perfect communication or no communication (which is what missed mark attempts are) – even if you have a stammer or gaffer tape over your mouth It’s communication or it’s not. Like being pregnant or not.

If the thing being passed over hits the mark it’s a communication and if it misses then it’s none at all.

There is always the danger of saying the wrong thing or putting you foot right in it. That’s neither good nor bad – simply a mistake.- or an attempt to disguise yourself as a dummy for some reason. Also corrected mistakes can be a bonding thing – a laugh. There are many reasons why people are either silent or shy – or never stop talking.

My point is this. Communication of SOMETHING is going on all the time. A man sitting in a corner hanging his head says somethng.to all who see him. He is attempting to hook the attention of those he has chosen to be with – simply to elicit thoughts like these.  If he’s lucky he will elicit remarks also.

“What’s the matter? You alright? Wake up and smell the coffee! Come and join in. Stop sulking.  Cheer up would ya?”

There is a lot of information available on how to read people better than they see themselves. So by diligent observation and putting your attention on the subject, you should be able to tell what they want to say however they may mess up the delivery.  The expression on their face, the clothes they wear are only a part of their demeanour – their character and their unique offering to society.

A PRINCE DRESSED AS A BEGGAR IS A PRINCE

Communication is neither good nor bad. what is stated has been said.  Is it ‘bad communication to mistakenly give the wrong address? If you do that by whether in error or by designthe result is – no callers. It could be that its preferable to make a mistake than be so disagreeable as to say “I don’t want to see ya”.

COMMUNICATING FOR A BAD REASON
The better you get at expressing yourself the more power you have to attract attention. So it is wise to avoid the temptation of a grand slam and end up simply bullying someone.  It’s over my head how some people appear to get a buzz out of hurting someone else.

Can they really feel bigger by kicking the smaller? stronger by beating the weaker? The shocking answer is yes they can and do. So this is a request to use this stuff wisely and for the benefit of the whole community.

The guideline is that if you use it to benefit yourself only you will be seriously missing the point. Luckily the perfect 8 has built in guards it will be so easy to see and hear (not even to mention the other senses) the agenda. hence when motives are selfish the lie is likely to miss the mark anyway.

Maybe it already did three days earlier.